Flickr/Creative Commons/Alaskan Dude

INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania – As Dorothy Parker said, “You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.”  And when you have a candidate who is as entrenched in politically anachronistic ideology as John McCain and his pit bull, Madame Mooseslayer, change and, better yet, improvement are a long way off.

And as he claims to be the merchant of change (Gee, where’ve I heard that before?), his underlying theme is illutible. Think of Republican ideology as an indelible stain.  No matter how you try your best to cover up the message, its tattoo shadow remains.  John McCain has milked his maverick theme for all its worth, but this thematic teat is dry. McCain droned on about the usual themes: his POW status (for that sole person who may have awakened from a two decades-old coma), his love of country, his disdain for partisan politics (I love that beaut) and the other predigested pap and hokum that the GOP’ers feed on.

McCain and Palin have yet to utter even the closest thing vaguely resembling an idea, a thought or a plan.  Yet the GOP’ers clap wildly.  High-minded truisms, platitudes, “no shites” (Here’s to the Irish!) and bumper sticker punch lines: they can’t get enough. And I saw it cause an absolute frenzy on the floor of the Xcel Energy Center.  In fact, the fact that there was any measurable energy at the Energy Center was a testament to the fact that Republican fervor seems to surround status quo and thwart the Democratic or progressive or Obama message.  The GOP is analogous to the Y chromosome; it is politically inert.  It stops or interrupts change, innovation or improvement. Its very being is as the proponent of politico-stasis. 

Think of what McCain and what’s-her-name said about health care, education, the economy, the environment, global warming, gas prices, science innovation, stem cell research.  I’ll wait.  The answer is nothing.  They (oxymoronically, granted) potentiate stasis.  Let’s keep everything as is.   Not innovation but novation.

COMING UP: MSNBC wises up and exiles Edward R. Olbermann and Chris “The Salivator” Mathews to the kids’ table.